Cherries and cannibals

BRAIN: have you been watching the jubilee?
THE_LAW: no…????
THE_LAW: like cherries?
BRAIN: the thing that’s on the dang teevee all the time now
THE_LAW: what?
THE_LAW: why is there a jubilee?
THE_LAW: because of the gay porn star who killed the guy?
THE_LAW: and dismembered him?
BRAIN: what seriously?
THE_LAW: or because of the zombie bathsalt guy?

BRAIN: the diamond jubilee
THE_LAW: oh, are the olympics on or something?
BRAIN: you are so out of it!
THE_LAW: i don’t know… what this is
BRAIN: the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s reign
THE_LAW: oh…
BRAIN: there’s all these events? no?
THE_LAW: maybe?
THE_LAW: had no idea
THE_LAW: monarchs are rarely on my radar. except for when they’re doing anal cramming
BRAIN: it’s called “queening”

BRAIN: who is the zombie bathsalt guy?
THE_LAW: YOU’RE out of it!
BRAIN: I’m losing track of all these cannibal stories

THE_LAW: get your priorities straight!
THE_LAW: when we’re up in sutro tower
THE_LAW: with a bunch of shotguns
THE_LAW: and a halfassed flamethrower
THE_LAW: the jubilee won’t matter
BRAIN: maybe the queen can pardon the cannibals
THE_LAW: good point

Scotch Whiskey

BRAIN: do you know anything about scotch
UK_SAM: a little
BRAIN: which ones do you like?
BRAIN: I’m almost done with my bottle of Jameson and I want somehting more peaty I think
UK_SAM: what’s the price range and who’s drinking?
UK_SAM: Try a Macallan 12 next?
UK_SAM: then shove the bottle up an old man’s ass
UK_SAM: that’s the ideal experience
BRAIN: god save the queen!
UK_SAM: she likes that too!
BRAIN: yikes

UK_SAM: she invented it. that’s why we call bottle cramming “queening”
BRAIN: I did not know that
UK_SAM: absolutely true
BRAIN: I’ll notify M immediately
UK_SAM: Q has a gadget just for this occasion
BRAIN: “do be careful with that 007.”

UK_SAM: if you’re on a mission
UK_SAM: and you need to queen someone
UK_SAM: just take out this umbrella
UK_SAM: and it releases a bottle if you press the upper button (above the normal umbrella release)
BRAIN: tricky

UK_SAM: now, if you’re with the REAL queen this won’t do. you’ll need a better umbrella
BRAIN: since she’s seasoned
UK_SAM: she’s more refined, you know
BRAIN: but she doesn’t have a lot to say
UK_SAM: not when she’s getting queened, no
UK_SAM: few do