So Not Metal

JYU: American fight scenes vs Hong Kong fight scenes
MATT: Wow, this music is annoying.
BRAIN: I watched it on mute
MATT: You know what I’m in the mood for? Celtic punk.
BRAIN: Name a band
MATT: Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys…
BRAIN: Bro “punk”
MATT: They’re not real punk, no.

BRAIN: I think Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is more punk than Flogging Molly
MATT: This is probably true!
MATT: They’re also too musically capable to be an actual punk band.
MATT: I hear more than three chords!
BRAIN: not authentic! too much musicianship!!
BRAIN: awesome
MATT: They’re a seven-piece band! That’s not punk.

BRAIN: I love hearing that kind of statment, although “that’s not metal” sounds funnier than “that’s not punk”
BRAIN: “so not metal dude”
BRAIN: I had a sort of joking conversation about that with a 12 year old over the weekend
BRAIN: he was telling me how great Metallica is

MATT: Jethro Tull = “so not metal”
BRAIN: yeah Jethro Tull is not metal
BRAIN: anything filk is pretty not metal
MATT: Unless you’re the Grammys.

BRAIN: I think Kraftwerk made it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?
MATT: So did James Taylor!
BRAIN: trying to think of anything James Taylor did that I know that could be considered “Rock”
MATT: You will not be able to succeed.
BRAIN: ok I give up then

MATT: Claims of punk authenticity are less funny than claims of metal authenticity, because metal started as ridiculous bombast.

BRAIN: totally
BRAIN: The Darkness : metal or no?
BRAIN: they are pretty ridiculous, but that doesn’t make them not metal
MATT: They are like meta-metal!
MATT: They are so metal, it stops being metal and then comes around and starts again!
BRAIN: yeah, The Darkness is definitely metal informed by metal itself

MATT: I saw Tenacious D in concert over the summer, speaking of meta-metal.
BRAIN: oh right!
BRAIN: I love their song…
BRAIN: The Metal

MATT: Yes!
BRAIN: it’s about Metal

MATT: I put forward the hypothesis that Kyle Gass is the dumpiest looking dude to achieve worshipped rockstar status.
BRAIN: who worships Kyle Gass?!

MATT: Okay, rephrased – the dumpiest looking dude to have 30,000 people screaming excitedly for him while he plays guitar.
BRAIN: here is a picture of rock star “Meatloaf”
MATT: But he had the whole operatic look going, which you can do while being a big guy.
MATT: KG wears shorts and t-shirts.
MATT: Meatloaf was like 70’s rock’s Pavarotti.
BRAIN: wow

BRAIN: remember that Meatloaf PBS Holiday Special?
BRAIN: I still order copies of it during pledge breaks
MATT: I am not aware of this special. But I think I might be okay with that gap in my knowledge.
BRAIN: it doesn’t exist
BRAIN: in our universe
BRAIN: yet!!!

MATT: There are innumerable universes where it does exist, though!
BRAIN: yeah I think the Dalai Lama said that
BRAIN: about the Meatloaf special
MATT: I have no reason to question any part of that sentiment.