Month: May 2010

A new trend is raising some eyebrows, or more like, hurting some eyeballs! Doctors say some youngsters are trying out a new drinking game, where they pour vodka right into someone’s eyes. It’s called eyeballing.

BRAIN: I’m unconvinced that “eyeballing” really exists
SHAC: sounds like that stanford band thing
SHAC: “the stunt man?”
BRAIN: what stunt man
BRAIN: oh wait
BRAIN: the drink
BRAIN: what was it again?
SHAC: tequila shot
SHAC: but you squirt the lime in your eye
SHAC: snort the salt
SHAC: then take the shot
BRAIN: that is pretty macho!

UPDATE: Now even Slate has pointed out that this is not real and was started by the Daily Mail. Yet the mainstream news has still picked it up with no supporting evidence and therefore with no investigative reporting! How many other stories have no basis in reality? How about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Vaccinations causing autism? Global warming skeptics? How many news stories do you believe where you haven’t read the original sources?

BRAIN: so
BRAIN: Dutch boy
BRAIN: in Tripoli
BRAIN: are you seeing the melodrama unfold?
BRAIN: it’s practically a movie of the week already
SAMIR: i have NO idea what you mean
BRAIN: “A safari ends in tragedy for lone crash survivor”
BRAIN: no?
SAMIR: …
SAMIR: no idea
BRAIN: ok
BRAIN: speed summary
BRAIN: major airline crash
BRAIN: in Libya
SAMIR: commercial airline?
BRAIN: yes
BRAIN: most of the people are dead
BRAIN: in fact all of them are dead
SAMIR: k
BRAIN: except one
SAMIR: wow
BRAIN: one single survivor
BRAIN: 9 year old
SAMIR: wow!
BRAIN: he and family were on their way back from a safari in south africa
SAMIR: has anyone heard from Samuel L. Jackson?
BRAIN: as soon as his bones knit he’s going to fight Mr Glass
BRAIN: damn too slow
SAMIR: ha!
SAMIR: yeah, it’s suspicious
BRAIN: hmmmm
BRAIN: he needs more testing!
SAMIR: I think he’ll be enlisted as a superspy
SAMIR: now, THAT should be a reality show
SAMIR: like, he gets paid
SAMIR: but
SAMIR: 24/7 cameras
SAMIR: watching what he does with his life
SAMIR: he’d probably implode under the pressure
BRAIN: WILL he become a hero? or villain?!
SAMIR: exactly!

MAN IN BLACK: Ruben, we have some news about your legs
MAN IN BLACK: we couldn’t save them
MAN IN BLACK: so we replaced them with this power armor
MAN IN BLACK: and jump jets
MAN IN BLACK: thanks to a grant from the US Department of Defense
RUBEN: …
MAN IN BLACK: we also have bad news about your parents. They were killed in the crash.
MAN IN BLACK: Actually everyone was killed in the crash
MAN IN BLACK: And THIS is the man responsible
MAN IN BLACK: R— al-D—- , thought to be an operative of al-Qaeda
MAN IN BLACK: his current wherabouts are believed to be in the Pakistan border
MAN IN BLACK: now we can’t make you do anything
MAN IN BLACK: you’re a free citizen. You can go home with your aunt and uncle
MAN IN BLACK: try to rebuild your life
MAN IN BLACK: or –
MAN IN BLACK: you could join us
MAN IN BLACK: we’d make you a citizen of the United States of America

DON LA FONTAINE: COMING THIS FALL
DON LA FONTAINE: FOLLOW THE STORY
DON LA FONTAINE: of ONE BOY
DON LA FONTAINE: “AIRPLANE SURVIVOR VIGILANTE”