von Bülow kinda morning

On my commute this morning I was talking to myself, running through a hypothetical Star Trek: Enterprise fanfic I’ll never write, because I think fanfic is stupid.

But for fun I did all my lines as Jeremy Irons playing Claus von Bülow in Reversal of Fortune. His accent and delivery are so awesome in that movie.


The Innowave UVF3 is here in this office.
It’s a water dispenser that doesn’t use bottles. Instead, it takes water from the tap (green!) and then filters it (sorta green) and then irradiates it with UV light (uhm…). Which may not be very Green but it’s pretty damn cool.

However it has a pretty bad interface design. The major problem is that it has buttons on it I cannot identify.

There’s 5 buttons: a giant one with a drop of water on it, two identical ones that have a glass with ice in it, and two on the other side, one which is a mug of hot drink, and the other the same mug, but with a “+” on it.

  • When you press the drop by itself, it dispenses cold water.
  • when you press the drop with the mug, it dispenses hot water
  • when you press the mug+ button, it says “warming”

Since there is no manual, this is unnecessarily challenging.

Al I can figure is it’s using a mass-produced shell used for other models and this is why the (at least) 1 extra button

Those Petersons!

Am I the only person who’s confused Drew Peterson with Scott Peterson?

Drew Peterson is an ex-police officer who is in the news these days for maybe killing his wife, STACEY Peterson.  This is in Illinois.

Scott Peterson is a dude in California (pretty close to me actually) who was convicted of killing his wife LACI Peterson.

DIANE: If you petition to change your name to Peterson I’m leaving the country.

The Way I Could Be

I have a song from an alternate universe stuck in my head again.

Ingrid Michaelson’s song “The Way I Am” is very cute they way she sings it. But the way I hear it is as sung by a late 1950’s or early 1960’s doo-wop group.

Imagine this part as she sings it…

Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

Now imagine it’s being sung by a man with a high voice, with an a cappella backup. Now have it playing on grainy AM radio with nice analogue tubes in the dead of night… or even playing over a malfunctioning short wave radio set in an isolated outpost. Radio from an alternate universe. See how I snuck the sci-fi horror in there?

Satan is the Light

It’s the modern version of the Stairway to Heaven scare. A bunch of apes hear “Islam is the light” and “Satan is king” in a baby toy gibberish. Then they demand the stores pull the babies off the shelf. What is especially humorous: they complaint says the Islam message is “spouting hate.” And by humorous I mean humorous I don’t live near them.

Even the hypothetical Satan message isn’t “spouting hate.” It’s saying how much you like Satan! Yay!