Month: July 2015

Hey Mahatma!

I showed this to a younger coworker and he said “Man, this is why all you guys [in Generation X] are fucked up.”

The tune to this goes through my head sometimes… 30+ years later.

BRAIN: Fuscia jackets guys
BRAIN: who are they
SCOM: FIFA assasins
BRAIN: Dreamkiller claims they had the word “carbon” on them
DREAMKILLER: Pink jacket player joins San Francisco on-demand valet parking war
BRAIN: “Zirx!?”
SCOM: I hate Valets with a passion
DREAMKILLER: Carbon wear pink jackets and carry umbrellas
DREAMKILLER: Zirx wear yellow shirts
DREAMKILLER: Luxe wear blue jackets and ride scooters
DREAMKILLER: this is like a logic puzzle
BRAIN: “A third contestant will soon be entering the nascent on-demand parking valet wars”
BRAIN: NASCENT
DREAMKILLER: “nascent” in the world of startups means “we’re not sure anyone wants this yet”
TRILLIAN: wait 17 dollars a day? like a subscription thing?
DREAMKILLER: no, $17 for parking for the entire day in SF
DREAMKILLER: It is a pretty good deal
DREAMKILLER: We get a lot of VCs subsidizing our goods and services in the hopes that we will become dedicated users

MB: so good news—the SF jury waiting room has wifi
TRILLIAN: excellent
TRILLIAN: you are so jury material
MB: my plan is to get on the jury and then do some amateur detective work and crack the case
MB: thats how it works, right
TRILLIAN: def

DREAMCRUSHER: Mb, I was wondering where you were!
MB: civic duty calls
MB: time for an orientation video
BRAIN: a jury duty orientation video?!~
MB: it explains trial by jury
BRAIN: oh man
BRAIN: trial by combat!!
BRAIN: everyone gets a bat

MB: it starts “California, the greatest state in the union…”
MB: “We are a place of great natural beauty but we also have disputes and crime”
BRAIN: no!
MB: This is our democratic idea, to truly impart justice that is of the people, by the people, for the people
MB: this is actually pretty inspiring

BRAIN: did they get to the part where we are ordained by God to crush the other states?
MB: not yet
BRAIN: I’d also accept: “California: Making Secular Humanism Workâ„¢”

MB: you can’t investigate the case on your own
MB: booo

MB: “Its often a deep and moving experience to be on a jury”
BROLDMAN: Mb that’s perfect for you, as a deeply moving person
MB: FYI if you clap at the end of the video you’ll be the only one

MB: Follow up video!
MB: “Theres no Justice without U”
DREAMCRUSHER: When I went for jury duty they had us sit there for a while and then we went home.