Managerial Accounting vs Bond

M: (stuffs face with cupcake) Have a cupcake 007. Take a load off.
007: *double entendre for cupcakes and inaction*
M: the thing is 007… this cupcake cost the Company about half a dollar.
M: Flying you all over the world to kill what turned out to be a valuable informant cost the Company over ten million dollars.
M: I’d have to eat over twenty million cupcakes to lose what you did in a single day.
007: I’ll learn to bake
M: You’ll make it up to us – because


Things I Improvised While Watching “Heckler”

COMIC: “I was watching this porno with this English guy, and it didn’t work, he was too polite, he was like [insert bad British accent impression here]”
HECKLER: “No one in England talks like that except the Queen. It’s much too posh.”
COULD HAVE SAID: “So you’re saying I watched a porn with the queen in it? I knew she looked familiar…”

HECKLER: “why don’t you make like a Kennedy and die young?”
COULD HAVE SAID: “…you mean the VJ? You guys remember Kennedy? You couldn’t really decide if she was gettable-hot, or so much of a nerd you wouldn’t be seen with her… you know, nerdy… like you. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you sir.”

Be ready to fight after this one!

HECKLER: “they want you outside”
COMIC: “who?”
HECKLER: “The people inside”
COULD HAVE SAID: “…I”m pretty sure you stole that from Milton Berle. You all know who Milton Berle is? Was? I bet _you_ did ma’am. Judging from your age. If you know what I mean… *wink*”

Watching “Heckler” was a weird experience for me, not just because I’ve never been able to watch Jamie Kennedy without squirming, but also because he’s so insecure and angry during the entire documentary… the experience was awkward and crawly. Although if you love Jamie Kennedy (someone does? Anyone? He had his own show!) or you want to see him constantly on the verge of losing his shit, this is a great movie to watch. Perhaps a drinking game?