Macy’s cat display

BRAIN: what kitten goes best with a flaky, buttery pastry?
JANE: Torties. Because torties are girls, and girls are more tender
JANE: some of these cats look like they’ve already been buttered

Stockton between Macy’s is covered in astroturf and what look like giant jacks, made from bone. Like maybe flying whales floating over a meadow died many years ago and this is all that’s left of them.

It looks like a Magritte painting, except you can’t sleep on and throw up in a Magritte painting.

I know I’m looking forward to doing that later.

Don’t Socra-tease Me

DREAMKILLER: If you feel that your life requires more terrible puns
BROLDMAN: It’s Totally Ft. Worth It!

BROLDMAN: what is this a list of, exactly?
DREAMKILLER: Nail polish names.
BROLDMAN: ohhh… why would you name a nail polish after fort worth?
BROLDMAN: I know you didn’t, but somebody did
J2-D2: is it money-colored

BRAIN: many of these are very terrible
MEGGIE: Don’t Socra-tease me
BROLDMAN: anyway I only wear nail polish with names that sound like tourism board slogans
BROLDMAN: I prefer my dark green “Say WA”

J2-D2: so is the lesson of these nail polishes that Mark should really quit to work as a cosmetics writer?
J2-D2: because I would say yes
MARK: getting paid to write puns all day? sounds like a dream job!
SCOTT: I thought being a professional sleep study test subject was a dream job…
MARK: possibly. could be a nightmare.

twee weird faerie accent

BRAIN: dude what is up with this twee weird faerie accent these folky bands do
BRAIN: I defy you to listen to the entire track of “Riptide” by MisterWives

BRAIN: have you heard the song “Night Vision Binoculars” by Passenger ?
DREAMKILLER: I’m not sure?
BRAIN: the lyrics are still so great

BRAIN: the guy has that same weird contrived twee folk accent
DREAMKILLER: that voice is pretty normal…
BRAIN: you eat a lot of lucky charms or something?
DREAMKILLER: in indie music
BRAIN: how did all these jerks start singing with the same fake accent
DREAMKILLER: I first noticed it in Of Monsters and Men
DREAMKILLER: but I think it predates them

Thanksgiving Pirates

J’KWAYLIN: i dont like prompts for a halloween costume if you intend to actually go do things
BRAIN: props or prompts
J’KWAYLIN: props
J’KWAYLIN: why did i write prompts

BRAIN: got it
BRAIN: it’s like wearing a mascot head at a party
J’KWAYLIN: i tried to say its not wednesday yesterday
J’KWAYLIN: and said thanksgiving instead of wednesday
J’KWAYLIN: or something like that

BRAIN: maybe you were having a stroke
J’KWAYLIN: perhaps
J’KWAYLIN: i’ve been doing that a lot lately
J’KWAYLIN: slurring my words
J’KWAYLIN: saying things when thinking another
J’KWAYLIN: i should be concerned

BRAIN: start talking like a pirate and you’ll be fine
BRAIN: see it works
J’KWAYLIN: don’t encourage my road to becoming senile
BRAIN: let’s get you a parrot