So Jaded

Damn, what a soap opera this Reiser thing is turning out to be- not only does it read like a Murderer’s Guide To Yuppie/Hipster Life in the East Bay :

Palmer, an artist who was at the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert when police say her son killed Nina

Prosecutor Hora showed jurors pictures of the Berkeley Bowl groceries found
in Nina Reiser’s van.

… but it also has an all-star cast:

  • The Prosecutor is from the Sausage King trial, on which, incidentally, my friend Steve narrowly avoided jury duty… Summary: family business making great sausage falls behind the times and is required to update entire factory or close due to new cooking temperature regulations. Oh wait, there is a third option– shoot the health inspectors. Yeah unfortunately that really happened. Who knew the FDA would need bulletproof vests?
  • The Defense is from the Gwen Araujo trial. Summary: That girl is hot. Oh, actually that’s a guy. Let’s kill her! The murderers only got 6 years in jail, likely only 3. As if that’s not horrific enough, Fred Phelps of “God Hates Fags” fame picketed Gwen’s funeral. What a classy guy. Phelps was just sued for $11M; hopefully that is just the first successful judgement.
  • The Judge is from this awesome case where a

    former couple sent to Death Row in 2002 for luring a Pleasanton student into a specially rigged van where they sexually tortured and strangled her before dumping her body on a snowy embankment.

It’s no dog mauling case, but it’s still totally Tom Wolfe over here. Sooo….

LILA: gotta love a murder trial w/o any body
LEWIS: what ever happened to the claims about her boyfriend being a serial killer?
BRAIN: so wait what happened to her body then?
LILA: they never found her
LEWIS: the circumstantial evidence seems pretty damning
CHIA: did they ever find scott peterson’s wife?
ERIC: yeah, she washed up by the richmond costco.
CHIA: nasty
ERIC: well, most of her, anyway.