Science, Mad. And some movies.
BRAIN: looks like the new Mail.app eliminates the need for Omni whatever
ASPO: yeah, the new todolist stuff seems pretty awesome
BRAIN: the Apple demos were all apparently filmed on the planet GATTACA
SHAC: i used Omni focus for a couple weeks then stopped because it was insulting
BRAIN: how is OmniFocus “insulting”
SHAC: “you’re so disorganized and have so much crap to do….. this is how bad it looks….”
SHAC: it should have just gone ahead and played a wav of nelson going AH HAH!
BRAIN: were Leopard “stacks” the same as that UI project a few years ago where there were these
little piles of files?
RAND: yeah I think so. “piles” was obviously not a good marketing name
I’m watching the Leopard demo and it’s like watching a hypothetical sequel to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where everyone is now a pod person. Everyone in the Apple universe wears a featureless black turtleneck, regardless of age, ethnicity or gender, and generally lives in a featureless white room with no walls, like THX 1138.
They look like they all go to the same tailor on Planet GATTACA. Or they are escapees from a Disney ride; everyone has calm, plastic smiles, very overprofessional. Although if it was a Disney ride it would be called something like The GATTACA Experience.
This feeling is pervasive in the human side of the Apple Experience. I own a lot of Apple products so… If you call product support, you are answered by a computer, as is pretty standard. But Apple’s voice is ripped out of some undead SF hipster they froze into undead servitude for all of eternity. Example:
MR. APPLE: Hello. Welcome to Apple Computer. etc etc. Please say the name of the product you are calling about.
BRAIN: iPod.
*aside* at this point, the interface would usually route you to the iPod department. But no, not Apple:
MR. APPLE: Okay. I think you said, “iPod.”
It’s this overly friendly, compliant tone of voice that gives me the creeps. “Okay. I think you said–“
Today’s phrase is “I’m sick of your ridiculous Emo bullshit”