But Think Of The Ratings!

Electronic Voice Phenomena, or “EVP,” is when you record ghost voices on a tape recorder. Listen to the examples, they are pretty creepy.

According to the recording procedure posted by the AAEVP,

If the taper wishes to speak to a specific friend or loved one in the next dimension, he should ask helpers on the other side to please get this person for him. For best results, it is advised to make this request as you end recording for the day. As an example: “When I return tomorrow, I would especially like to speak to my mother, Mary Smith. If you would please try to bring her to me, I will be very grateful.”

I’m thinking this is to give the dead time to contact the requested party, and then for the Beloved to re-arrange their schedule to plan to be at the next contact meeting.

Is this such a bizarre concept? When you make an (unexpected) long-distance call into a developing country, the operator has to schedule the call’s connection, and leave a message for the call recipient. Also, sometimes the only phone is in another village and the time for the incoming call must be relayed by friends or neighbors from the village with the phone to wherever the call recipient lives. This could take several days.

What if the only phone in North America was in Salt Lake City, and you lived in San Francisco? The phone only takes incoming calls. Even with trains or the Pony Express, getting the message that you had a call would take weeks. Then you’d have to travel to the phone, which would take more weeks.

So I propose the following: At the end of your recording session or what have you, list off the next few people you intend to contact, in order, from nearest future to furthest. the list only would move every week or so. That way, someone on the top of the list has about a week to make the connection, and people in future slots on the list will have ample warning, possibly several months. Sort of like a “upcoming events” list for contactees.

But there is a slight complication- we all know how communicating with the Departed is a fairly unreliable proposition. The dead aren’t as direct in their communication, and rarely stay on topic. There may be a large degree of garbling of communicated messages- like a long chain of myna birds relaying spoken messages. Or maybe being on the Other Side makes you a senile flake.

In either case, the message, even “I want to talk to my grandfather,” must be repeated simply and with a high frequency. Like a simple, easy-to-remember and therefore easy-to-repeat phrase. Maybe have a tune that goes along with it to make it even easier to recall. Whoever or whatever receives this message can then more easily relay it to the Loved One, who then can in turn be at a future scheduled recording session. For maximum exposure you would repeat this short song with a single sentence every five minutes or so, during the recording sessions.

Oh crap. I’ve just invented Radio Advertising for the Dead.

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