I Kill Spies

I love Batman because the message is that if you overcompensate enough, you can overcome the pain of the past.

Example from real life:

When I was growing up, I’d always heard of “the ice cream man,” but no trucks ever visited our neighborhood. We first actually got ice cream from one of those trucks when visiting my grandparents in Gilroy. There was a park on 2nd where kids would play, 2 short blocks from grandma and grandpa’s house. The ice cream would occasionally drop in, and we could hear the music from his truck from the house. We’d get a bit of money from my grandparents (or my parents if they were feeling especially charitable) and run to get ice cream. I usually got a fudgecicle. Don’t tell me you can just buy those in the store; it’s just not the same.

Back at home, we lived about half a mile from two different parks, so every so often I’d hear the music from the truck. Faintly I could hear the strains when playing in the backyard, but by the time we ran in the house, asked for money, jumped on bikes, and biked there, the truck was nowhere to be found. To this day I don’t know if we guessed the wrong direction, or we just weren’t fast enough.

Eventually we just gave up. The ice cream man music became a taunt. I felt bitter every time I heard his siren call. Very bitter.

So now I live in a relatively dense suburb of Oakland. Several ice cream trucks have us directly on their route; but I am taking no chances. I’ll be sitting at home or in the backyard, reading comics or surfing. Suddenly I perk up – the sound, the sound!! I’ll run into the house, grab my wallet, and throw on sunglasses and driving gloves. I jump in my black sportscar and floor it, tearing around the streets.

I search for the truck with a feverish intensity. Every few intersections I silence the motor and listen intently with the windows rolled down, triangulating on the sound of the ice cream man. The streets are laid out like sort of a maze, so it takes them a while to get out. Once I’ve figured out what street the truck is on, I gun it to intercept. A couple of times I have stopped my car directly in front of the truck so he cannot escape. I jump out of the car brandishing a wad of cash and demand an ice cream sandwich from the petrified driver. Sometimes Diane goes with me; bonus points if we are both wearing all black.

Overcompensation. I has it.

But I’d still follow Superman. He is the only one you can trust.

You know those Easter Eggs that look exactly like a real bird egg?  I saw one on the ground today while walking to work.  Sort of late for Easter, it must have been part of a leftover stash.

I have a terrible sweet tooth, and I would consider eating candy I find on the ground.  I picked the egg up, and squeezed it a little to see what kind it was.  But it turned out it was a real egg.  It cracked in my hands and made a mess; I killed a unborn baby chick.  That sucks; I felt bad about that.  Namu Amida butsu.

Although, not to rationalize or anything, but who lays an egg on the ground, not even in a nest?  How did it get there?  There weren’t even any trees around.  Maybe a pigeon?  They lay eggs in stupid places I hear.  Unless “mom” intended to sit on it in the middle of an open dirt pile totally unprotected from cats or the elements, I’m thinking junior was pretty much doomed.

Still a bummer though.

Q: I’m confused about Iraq. Every time I read that the surge is working, Iraq is a safer place, stability is being restored, etc., I see headlines which defy those assertions. I am becoming distrustful and confused as to whether progress is being made or not. Does anyone else feel the same way? And, if we are confused, what about the Iraqi people – how do you think they feel? Who to trust?

A: Every time you read the news, every time you watch news on TV,

Ask yourself: who owns this newspaper? Where is the information coming from? Would the source of information be interested in not telling the complete truth?

Recently, American journalism has become very lazy. Most of the misinformation about the Iraq war, about the threat of WMD’s, comes straight from the White House. Journalists are meant to do original research… sadly this is on the decline.

People who habitually read from more news sources were never “fooled” into the wisdom of invading Iraq; this is why there were so many protests even dating back to the beginning of the invasion. They knew it was an unwinnable war, and could only serve the interests of oil and construction companies.

Read about who runs Fox News, Halliburton, and the Carlyle Group. But be careful– some people find this knowledge very threatening.

New hobby tonight: giving accurate yet mischievious answers on Yahoo Answers

Q: I need a topic for my science project. I can’t think o any….. :(?
Well, can you give me a few ideas of a topic or tell me how I can go about with the medicinal herbs topic I had in mind and how I can relate it to science?

A: The Placebo Effect.

Make up a drug effect. Pick ten test subjects. Tell them a great deal about how this drugs will work. Then give them tic-tacs or some other non-drug. Insist this is a real drug you got with the cooperation of the medical clinic at the nearby college.

Observe them for ten minutes and report what they say. Record how many of them report feeling the effects you describe. Encourage their descriptions as much as possible. Write down any other “side effects” they feel from the fake drug.

Now repeat the experiment with ten more people. Don’t tell them anything about what you are giving them. Observe them for ten minutes and report what they say.

Finally people are coming around to the fact that, yes, global warming is happening, and yes, it is directly caused by greenhouse gases, and yes, humans make the overwhelming majority of these gases, and yes, most of it is from cars.

You’ve seen the planet literally being destroyed.  Coral reefs are dying, the growing season is changing, entire populations of animals are dying, areas on the planet are becoming more difficult to farm, water shortages are beginning.  Tropical storms have more energy and are causing huge devastation on a regular basis.  The entire planet is dying.  And this is just the start.
So my question is: why are you still driving?  Yes, it is your fault.

But it doesn’t have to be.  You can be a good person.  All you have to do is care.

Please:

1. If you have to commute, take public transportation
2. Turn off your devices when you aren’t using them
3. stop buying plastic.  This is actually a lot easier than you’d think.
4. Learn about what you are buying.  Where does it come from?  How was it made?  Stop buying from companies that obviously don’t care about the environment
5. stop putting up with people who pretend there is not a problem.  Every time you let them live in their little fantasy, you are (albeit very indirectly) contributing to the problem.  “Global warming isn’t happening” ?!  Shout that fucker down!  You have all of Earth’s scientific community backing you up.  Dude’s driving an SUV?  The only people who still think those are cool are either rap stars or Texas Republicans, who are both, let’s just face it, not known for being too bright.  Would you wear a cowboy hat to a formal party?  Well then.