Hummingbirds and COPS

stardate

BL: C and i were working on the main form page, we wanted the files to be pushed live and Andy was not there so we are waiting for his return
BRAIN: ok. and once it’s pushed live… will it work you think?
BL: its a possibility
BL: its one of two possibilities i guess

er, thanks!

Yesterday on the way to the cafeteria I saw a hummingbird sitting on the path. He was so tiny I crouched to look at him… up close he looked pretty pissed off. He had sand on his beak.

Coworker Danielle was passing by and was enraptured by the hummingbird. I figured I’d see if he was still there after lunch, and if so I’d call someone. I left for the cafeteria… on the way back he was gone.

Hours later Danielle was standing in the hall looking at the skylights above Marketing, 2 stories up. She looked bummed. “I am such an idiot” she says.

Looks like the hummingbird was just stunned, recuperated on her desk, and was now trapped in the office with the glass ceiling. This bird crippled Marketing for 2 hours, ladies were crying, etc. I set up a ladder with some Hawaiian Punch on it, but he wouldn’t come down. Eventually he got too tired to fly and got herded towards the door… Danielle fed him sugar water through a coffee stir.

Today during a meeting we saw over a dozen police cars and motorcycles racing towards our complex. “Get down on the ground!!!” we hear… looks like someone was running from the police and was about to be “tazed.”

Rewrite “Cutthroat Island”

flix

I’m watching Cutthroat Island. It’s about as bad as I’ve heard.

I was thinking though, it would be an interesting writing challenge to do a rewrite of the script and story as if you were on the production. The movie looks really great! But as it was made, the story and characters suck. The acting wasn’t great either, but let’s be charitable and say this is due to the writing. The scenario:

You find yourself in an alternate universe where Carolco is failing earlier than it did, this time just BEFORE Cutthroat Island is shot but after the production design is completed. Just as it came to pass in our universe, production design is underway even before the draft script is completed! Also as in our history, the script is in trouble – it’s been through six different screenwriters, and is a hackneyed mess. This time, however, the buyers of Carolco come to their senses and realize they have the opportunity to make a completely different movie with the same pieces.

  • You have been hired to rewrite Cutthroat Island. Production is already underway.
  • The casting has already been finalized. You must use the Geena Davis and Matthew Modine as the two leads, and Frank Langella as the villain.
  • Geena Davis is “involved” with the director. You can alter her character, but you cannot diminish her screen time. She must remain the lead.
  • The sets, design, effects, etc have all been set. You must use all the same locations. Bonus points for the same costumes.
  • Action sequences must remain intact!

Elite is not bad

stardate

I’ve noticed a frightening trend recently: the word “Elite” is becoming a loaded word. The problem is many people these days confuse being good at what one does, or even just being competent, as being “elitist.”

Picture a very stupid, self-righteous person demanding “You think you’re better than me!?” There is a culture of laziness and willful stupidity creeping across America.

Many who voted for disgraced President George W Bush did so because he “seemed like a regular guy.” Because they were averse to being led by someone who thought he was better than them. In my opinion this is not a good policy! I want someone smart to be in charge.

  • it is not okay to not bother trying your best.
  • It is not okay to be foolish and expect others to respect you.
  • It is, in a very real way, un-American.

This country was founded on idealism and enterprise. It’s sad to so many turn away from that.

Battlestar Galactica

looky

I (rather famously now) have always hated the first Battlestar Galactica. Initially it was because of the terrible writing and acting, but also because I considered it a rip-off of Star Wars… I found out decades later it’s because many of the same effects people worked on both projects.

Diane is a old-school BG fanatic. She refers to the newer show as GINO – Galactica In Name Only. Like the Republicans, you see.

My brother Ben on meeting Diane:

BEN: You like Battlestar Galactica?
DIANE: Yes, Brian and I watched the entire series just last week.
BEN: … Wow. He must really love you.
DIANE: … what
BEN: I remember him ranting against that show when he was 5.

The new one looks pretty intentionally gritty, much like a mid-1990s comic book, where everyone is scowling and being an anti-hero. Plus they squandered key parts of Starbuck’s character – it’s cool she’s a woman, but she could still be a womanizer!

Anyway that show is banned from my house so I haven’t seen more than 20 minutes of it.

Evil Chinese Man

flix, looky

There’s a character actor whose name I can never remember – he plays the Evil Chinese Man. Whatever the movie, he’s the older, usually rich, powerful villain who represents the scary part of Chinatown.

Oooh scary Chinatown. The racism implicit in the mere existence of this role is so extreme that I always thought it was pretty funny.

Anyway, the actor is actually James Hong. Skinny as a rail, with a natural expression that makes him look like he disapproves of that thing you are doing there.

Hong played the Evil Chinese Man who is running the lottery in the X-Files, where if you lose they cut off a body part, no doubt to use in some exotic Chinese delicacy (scary Chinatown!). In Big Trouble in Little China, he’s the Evil Chinese Man who actually has sorcerous powers.

Slightly less iconic but still very memorable: Victor Wong. Wong tended to play the Wise (albiet slightly batty) Chinese Man, with a droppy expression and a slightly zany cockeyed look. He played this character in Big Trouble in Little China, and again in The Golden Child.

Check out the rosters of both these guys and you’ll find a bunch of movies you remember. Unfortunately Wong passed away at the turn of this century, but Hong is still pluggin’ away at movies!

China vs Vatican

stardate

Vatican threatens new China bishop with excommunication

The Vatican has threatened a bishop with excommunication after he was ordained by China’s state-backed Catholic Church without papal approval.

I wonder if people will actually notice this one. Maybe next they will just declare a new Chinese Messiah. It will be a new Chinese Christianity; it could be a state religion where the Vatican is a pretender throne.

No one seemed to care when China did this with Tibetan Buddhism (the plot of Martin Scorsese’s “Kundun”).

Basically, China’s Maoist government got tired of having a religion that competed with the state, so they exterminated Tibetan culture and ran the Dalai Lama out of the country. The government then appointed a new religious leader of Buddhism.

Your Kleen Kanteen is an impostor

stardate

Does your black Kleen Kanteen seem… different… somehow? The top
feels different when you put it on? The scarring in the black paint
is a different pattern? It’s now a DIFFERENT VOLUME?!

I may be crazy (!) but I am pretty sure my black metal water bottle
has been replaced with a near-duplicate. I think it happened sometime
over the weekend shoot either at 15 Romolo or Spec’s.

I know this seems like a test in-theme with the movie (this bottle
looks exactly the same as the old one but somehow it’s not the same
one) but – if anyone normally uses a black Kleen Kanteen, and noticed
that in the last week it changed ever-so-slightly… we should switch.
The top on mine had a metal liner.

Completely unrelated in every way:


When people with Capgras Syndrome see a friend, spouse, or themselves
in a mirror, they believe they are seeing an exact double or an
impostor.

Sometimes, people with Capgras Syndrome even believe that inanimate
objects — like a chair, watch, book, or lamp — have been replaced by
exact replicas. If people own a pet, the pet may be seen as an
impostor, a strange animal roaming through their lives and homes.

Capgras patients are often so disturbed when they see a doppelganger
in the mirror that they remove all mirrors from the home. The
syndrome, named for French psychiatrist Jean Marie Joseph Capgras,
afflicts thousands of people in the United States.

Consider these two true stories:

A 37-year-old woman came into the office of Carol Berman, a
psychiatrist at New York University Medical Center, with a strange
complaint. She had returned to her house recently to find a man
sitting on her couch. He was familiar, sort of, and he was wearing her
husband’s clothes. But something didn’t feel right to this woman. She
felt a strange kind of emptiness when she looked at him. She was
struck by the very deep sense that her husband had somehow been
replaced by this strange man.

A student at the University of California, San Diego was severely
injured in a car accident. After several weeks in a coma, he regained
consciousness and seemed to be doing fine. But according to V.S.
Ramachandran, a neuroscientist at the university, when the patient’s
mother came to see him, he exclaimed, “Who is this woman? She looks
just like my mother, but she’s an impostor! She’s some other woman
pretending to be my mother.”

Guinness milkshake

stardate

I made a single-serving Guinness milkshake.

The recipe is pretty lazy:

  • 1 pint of ice cream – I used Starbucks Caramel Macchiato ice cream
  • 1/2 can Guinness – I used the can with the nitrogen widget
  • let the ice cream sit for 5 minutes until the outside melts – it will be easier to scoop and will blend better
  • dump the entire pint of ice cream into a blender
  • open the can of Guinness and pour half of it into the blender
  • blend until roughly uniform
  • pour shake into a glass
  • drink the shake
  • drink the rest of the Guinness