Sanjay and Craig, Nubians, and the poop burger conspiracy

BRAIN: this guy talked himself into a corner and got his talk cancelled for it

“It definitely still matters. Sanjay and Craig: Yes, the main character is Indian and it would still be a good show if he were white. But this provides something to relate to; if an Indian kid is watching and sees himself on screen, that’s great.

That’s true, that’s fine, but why can’t he relate to a white guy too? I was talking with the guy who wrote for DC, and he made a really good point: Why does someone who’s making something about a black person need to be black?”

BRAIN: his argument was he didn’t like Sanjay being Indian “for no reason”
D: blinders in action
BRAIN: incidentally Sanjay is half Indian
D: indeed

D: that’s I think the thing people don’t easily get: It matters seeing someone like you
D: there was a study from Google that suggested one of the main reasons women went into tech (and stayed there) is because they had early exposure to a female tech mentor
D: and thus awareness of how they could fit into the tech universe
D: it is both an obvious and subtle thing

BRAIN: Pat Morita still pisses me off
BRAIN: uncle tom motherfucker
BRAIN: yet I am not angry about Mako

D: i assume you’ve seen chasing amy. at least the intro
BRAIN: I still haven’t
BRAIN: After I got burned by Mallrats I have a cautious attitude towards Kevin Smith

BRAIN: awesome, a Nation of Islam superhero
BRAIN: Lando was pretty pimp though
D: he’s getting his own comic book arc, I hear
BRAIN: we basically elected him mayor of SF

BRAIN: my friend comes from a long line of Black Panther conspiracy theorists and told me at length about how white scientists are plotting to make hamburgers out of poop
BRAIN: and it turns out of course she was wrong
BRAIN: they were Japanese scientists
D: i was about to say

Macy’s cat display

BRAIN: what kitten goes best with a flaky, buttery pastry?
JANE: Torties. Because torties are girls, and girls are more tender
JANE: some of these cats look like they’ve already been buttered

Stockton between Macy’s is covered in astroturf and what look like giant jacks, made from bone. Like maybe flying whales floating over a meadow died many years ago and this is all that’s left of them.

It looks like a Magritte painting, except you can’t sleep on and throw up in a Magritte painting.

I know I’m looking forward to doing that later.

Don’t Socra-tease Me

DREAMKILLER: If you feel that your life requires more terrible puns
BROLDMAN: It’s Totally Ft. Worth It!

BROLDMAN: what is this a list of, exactly?
DREAMKILLER: Nail polish names.
BROLDMAN: ohhh… why would you name a nail polish after fort worth?
BROLDMAN: I know you didn’t, but somebody did
J2-D2: is it money-colored

BRAIN: many of these are very terrible
MEGGIE: Don’t Socra-tease me
BROLDMAN: anyway I only wear nail polish with names that sound like tourism board slogans
BROLDMAN: I prefer my dark green “Say WA”

J2-D2: so is the lesson of these nail polishes that Mark should really quit to work as a cosmetics writer?
J2-D2: because I would say yes
MARK: getting paid to write puns all day? sounds like a dream job!
SCOTT: I thought being a professional sleep study test subject was a dream job…
MARK: possibly. could be a nightmare.

twee weird faerie accent

BRAIN: dude what is up with this twee weird faerie accent these folky bands do
BRAIN: I defy you to listen to the entire track of “Riptide” by MisterWives

BRAIN: have you heard the song “Night Vision Binoculars” by Passenger ?
DREAMKILLER: I’m not sure?
BRAIN: the lyrics are still so great

BRAIN: the guy has that same weird contrived twee folk accent
DREAMKILLER: that voice is pretty normal…
BRAIN: you eat a lot of lucky charms or something?
DREAMKILLER: in indie music
BRAIN: how did all these jerks start singing with the same fake accent
DREAMKILLER: I first noticed it in Of Monsters and Men
DREAMKILLER: but I think it predates them

Thanksgiving Pirates

J’KWAYLIN: i dont like prompts for a halloween costume if you intend to actually go do things
BRAIN: props or prompts
J’KWAYLIN: props
J’KWAYLIN: why did i write prompts

BRAIN: got it
BRAIN: it’s like wearing a mascot head at a party
J’KWAYLIN: i tried to say its not wednesday yesterday
J’KWAYLIN: and said thanksgiving instead of wednesday
J’KWAYLIN: or something like that

BRAIN: maybe you were having a stroke
J’KWAYLIN: perhaps
J’KWAYLIN: i’ve been doing that a lot lately
J’KWAYLIN: slurring my words
J’KWAYLIN: saying things when thinking another
J’KWAYLIN: i should be concerned

BRAIN: start talking like a pirate and you’ll be fine
BRAIN: see it works
J’KWAYLIN: don’t encourage my road to becoming senile
BRAIN: let’s get you a parrot

BRAIN: We’re having ongoing clown problems

MARIE: Bakersfield Clown Arrest is the name of my cybercore pop band.
SCOTT: Wow that sounds like a standalone complex
SCOTT: A guy dressed as a clown turned in to myths of armed clowns turned in to police chasing an actual clown armed with a gun and ax
SCOTT: totally unrelated to the original even except for there being public media reports about the original
SCOTT: and since there never was an “original armed clown”, the actually armed clown isn’t a copycat, since they would be copying something that never happened

In Which We Scrutinize Buzz Ballz

ELENA: I drank both buzz ballz
ELENA: I was definitely cran blasted
BRAIN: that is especially terrible
ELENA: yeah it was pretty awful waffle
BRAIN: “Awful Waffle” sounds like it should be another Buzz Balls flavor
MARIE: it’s the name of my kid pop/post-punk band

BRAIN: ugh “Ballz” they really spell it
ELENA: yerp
ELENA: so bad:

BRAIN: the red one is “Strawberry Rum Job”
BROLDMAN: the age-checking front page has an ENTER BUZZBALLZ button
BROLDMAN: so that’s cool
BRAIN: the containers would make pretty good electronic device parts come to think of it
ROB: this seems like a genius product

BRAIN: the blue flavor is called “overdue blue”
BRAIN: I’m not sure what they are implying
BROLDMAN: I am quite sure of it
BRAIN: since the only implication I can think of is a pregnancy test which is not positive in any way
BRAIN: are they just incompetent? That seems a plausible explanation

BROLDMAN: blue ballz. overdue. think about it
BRAIN: you are overdue to orgasm? how is that a selling point?
BRAIN: you are saying you want to buy alcohol that reminds you how you don’t have sex?
BROLDMAN: it’s a selling point because people will be like “oh I recognize the reference to a naughty thing. I should pay for this product”
BROLDMAN: reliably
BRAIN: yeah, I guess it serves a social need for removing money from people who have bad judgement

Buffalo is plural

MARK: buffalo wings are pretty popular too
MARK: and their wings are so small you can’t even really see them through the fur
SCOTT: so that’s why the american buffalo is extinct
MARK: they’re not extinct
SCOTT: shh

MARK: they’re raised in ranches
SCOTT: totally extinct
MARK: but that is why you see most of them land-bound these days
SCOTT: it was a replacement for t-rex arms
MARK: it’s sad, back in the 1600s, there were still flocks of buffalo out in what is now Nebraska
MARK: they were all gone by the early 1730s.

CLAIRE: sometimes i wish i had a time machine
CLAIRE: well, not sometimes. a lot of the time
MARK: combination of overhunting and chopping down the giant trees that could support the weight of their nests
CLAIRE: i look around sometimes and wonder what the land around me would have looked like 200, 300 years ago
SCOTT: I read about some bird whose nests are so heavy it causes the tree branches to bend down to the ground
SCOTT: Some serious Horton Hears a Who going on there
SCOTT: but with Buffalos
BRIAN: buffalo
CLAIRE: buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo