Heart Ring

WRITERMATT: I just got a kick out of walking over to Molly and Andrea’s cubes with a grammar question and saying, “Docs team: assemble!”
DAVE: “We’re having a linguistic emergency! Only you can save us!”
BRAIN: tell me when you guys make the firezord

PJ: firezord?
PJ: is that a power rangers reference?
JYU: yes, on the new season, Power Rangers Earth, there’s a firezord, earthzord, waterzord, airzord, and a heartzord, and they call combine to make Captainplanetzord!

WRITERMATT: The guy with the “heart” power was clearly the lamest of the Planeteers, and they were all pretty lame.
WRITERMATT: Were they actually the Planeteers? That’s how I remember it, but that name is incredibly stupid.
BRAIN: you think that as a child, but as an adult if you think about it, he had the most dangerous power
BRAIN: that little kid could use his ring to convince everyone to make him president if he wanted
BRAIN: he’s the antichrist

WRITERMATT: Is that really what his ring could do? I thought it just made animals not eat him.
BRAIN: it was an empathy ring
BRAIN: even if it only worked on animals, used for evil, he could have caused a famine
BRAIN: or wiped out all meat production
WRITERMATT: I bet there’s a dark, gritty Captain Planet fanfic out there where the scenario you describe happens.

PJ: OR he could have a pack of wolves following him and committing atrocity by his very whim
BRAIN: he could have ordered all the zebra mussels in the world to simultaneously plug all the intake vents of all the nuclear reactors in the world, causing a nuclear catastrophe of apocalyptic proportions
BRAIN: or given everyone in america avian flu
WRITERMATT: This sounds way better than the show actually was.
PJ: and then he’d be able to build an army of giant irradiated scorpions to fight off any other would-be post-apocalyptic warlords and become king of the world
JYU: except Japan would be saved by Godzilla
BRAIN: yeah maybe that little kid grows up to be Khan from Star Trek
WRITERMATT: Mind = blown.

PJ: brain, I think you may have just spoiled the plot for Star Trek Lensflare 2: Lensflare-er
JYU: J J Abrams is just one of those people who goes through the effort to put 32 pieces of flare into his movies.
BRAIN: Star Trek: Tchotchkey’s
PJ: We’ll THINK that Sherlock Khan is the villian, until he summons forth Captain Planet, and the crew of the enterprise is forced to destroy the defender of the environment…

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