SAMIR: i’m finding it harder and harder to relate to “normal” problems.
BRAIN: now you begin to see
SAMIR: what do you do when someone complains that coffee is too far from their house?
SAMIR: I want to say “kill yourself” but I think that will alienate them too much
BRAIN: and that would do what
SAMIR: they wouldn’t complain to me. and the coffee problem would be less important
BRAIN: this doesn’t sound so bad
BRAIN: maybe they’d go have their non-problem somewhere else
BRAIN: you could be like jesse jackson and just tell them
COFFEE GUY: Coffee is too far from my house!
JESSE JACKSON: Every six seconds an American child dies from starvation
SAMIR: wow… yes. And I spend like hours a day cultivating information on suffering and despair!
SAMIR: ok
BRAIN: now lose like 50 pounds and you’ll be danh
SAMIR: we have a strategy! if the problem is meaningless,
SAMIR: i’ll bring up bleak things until they shut up or change the topic
BRAIN: every 20 seconds another child is diagnosed with autism