SAM: what no one considers
SAM: in the santabot scandal
SAM: is that perhaps they patterned it after the real santa?
SAM: how do we know he’s not an oral fiend?
SAM: think about it: he hires ELVES…
SAM: he could have taller people. what are elves good for?
SAM: they’re perfect blowjob height
BRAIN: this is why you never get presents