Twisted Firestarter

I’ve been playing a little GTA: San Andreas, and I gotta say, if there’s one thing I’m pretty stellar at, it’s fighting fires. I must be the only firefighter in Los Santos who has bought 4 homes just out of money earned from freelance firefighting.

Once you get to Level 12, you become fireproof. Not explosion-proof, just fireproof. This will be handy if I ever get the flamethrower…

But while you are fire proof, you can still catch on fire. This enables my new hobby- I wreck my car, which catches on fire, and then blows up, spreading flaming debris all over the street. Then the fire department comes, and parks in front of the car as they try to hose it down.

While they are busy, and partly blocking the road, I set myself ablaze. Then I walk to the cars blocked behind the fire truck and set them on fire with my own flaming carcass. If I can get enough cars on fire, enough of them blow up to keep the firefighters perpetually busy.

Soon the entire street is covered in piles of flame. Cars start blowing up without my help because they cannot escape the street inferno. A car blows up every ten seconds. People run around in a panic, but there is nowhere to go. I have created hell!

Sort of ironic since I am a retired firefighter. I guess it’s like Dennis Hopper in Speed, since he was the retired bomb squad guy who took up making bombs as a second career. Except it’s almost nothing like that.

One thought on “Twisted Firestarter

  1. just a question… did you ever manage to get in touch w/ eric schlosser? i have a website in the process of being built & need to quote his sources/bring it to his attention…

    if you have any contacts for him they’d be much appreciated… is where you can hit me back at.


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