Cleans Like Vegetable Oil

JILLIAN: “Using syntax that looks like Java and acts like database stored procedures”
JILLIAN: why would you ever describe something with that sentence when attempting to say it is good
MARIE: if you did not understand how good worked

WILL: “it’s like driving a stick shift, but with none of the control!”
WILL: “it’s like the taste of booze with none of the intoxicating effects!”
WILL: “tastes like tofu, fucks up your insides like beef!”
SCOTT: that second one…
SCOTT: non-alcoholic beer. why?
WILL: yeah or decaf for that matter
SCOTT: yeah decaf coffee, wtf

BROWN: “Like a non-alcoholic vodka!”
BROWN: “Smells like bleach, cleans like vegetable oil.”
MARIE: Brown, how did you know my new start-up idea?
BROWN: I saw the hacker news article.
MARIE: dammit