How many 5 year olds could you take in a fight?

So you know there’s that thing “how many 5 year olds could you take in a fight?”

People always estimate something ridiculously large, usually because they haven’t ever been babysitting or taught kindergarten. “I could take thirty 5-year-olds!” Stupid.

Then I start baiting them, piling on crazy limitations, like “what if I get to train them ahead of time?” and “do I get to pick the 5 year olds?”

So I’ll bid you down to… four.

Here’s my four entries.