{"id":5893,"date":"2008-08-05T19:00:17","date_gmt":"2008-08-06T02:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/blog\/2008\/08\/05\/5893\/"},"modified":"2008-08-05T19:00:17","modified_gmt":"2008-08-06T02:00:17","slug":"story-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/?p=5893","title":{"rendered":"Story Time"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>BG: I once got a friend an inflatable goat for his birthday.<br \/>\nBG: I wasn&#8217;t there, so I told many of our mutual friends to watch him open it,<br \/>\nBG: and for them to force him to open it in front of everyone. <\/p>\n<p>BRAIN: Heh heh. <\/p>\n<p>BG: He later told me that &#8220;he thought he&#8217;d show me&#8221; by actually &#8230;<br \/>\nBG:  inflating and copulating with said inflatable goat. <\/p>\n<p>BG: But then he felt dirty, and wanted to throw it away.<br \/>\nBG: But he couldn&#8217;t just throw it away, because it was inflated.<br \/>\nBG: And he couldn&#8217;t deflate it because it was nasty. <\/p>\n<p>BG: So he took out his knife and slashed its throat. <\/p>\n<p>BG: And there it was, he fucked it, slashed its throat, and put it in the dumpster. <\/p>\n<p>BG: For obvious reasons, I didn&#8217;t introduce him to my cousin when he asked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BG: I once got a friend an inflatable goat for his birthday. BG: I wasn&#8217;t there, so I told many of our mutual friends to watch him open it, BG: and for them to force him to open it in front of everyone. BRAIN: Heh heh. BG: He later told me that &#8220;he thought he&#8217;d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stardate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5893"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}