{"id":5881,"date":"2008-06-19T17:45:52","date_gmt":"2008-06-20T00:45:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/blog\/2008\/06\/19\/5881\/"},"modified":"2008-06-19T17:45:52","modified_gmt":"2008-06-20T00:45:52","slug":"normal-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/?p=5881","title":{"rendered":"Normal Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

SAMIR: i’m finding it harder and harder to relate to “normal” problems.
\nBRAIN: now you begin to see
\nSAMIR: what do you do when someone complains that coffee is too far from their house?
\nSAMIR: I want to say “kill yourself” but I think that will alienate them too much
\nBRAIN: and that would do what
\nSAMIR: they wouldn’t complain to me. and the coffee problem would be less important
\nBRAIN: this doesn’t sound so bad
\nBRAIN: maybe they’d go have their non-problem somewhere else
\nBRAIN: you could be like jesse jackson and just tell them<\/p>\n

COFFEE GUY: Coffee is too far from my house!
\nJESSE JACKSON: Every six seconds an American child dies from starvation\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

SAMIR: wow… yes. And I spend like hours a day cultivating information on suffering and despair!
\nSAMIR: ok
\nBRAIN: now lose like 50 pounds and you’ll be danh
\nSAMIR: we have a strategy! if the problem is meaningless,
\nSAMIR: i’ll bring up bleak things until they shut up or change the topic
\nBRAIN: every 20 seconds another child is diagnosed with autism<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SAMIR: i’m finding it harder and harder to relate to “normal” problems. BRAIN: now you begin to see SAMIR: what do you do when someone complains that coffee is too far from their house? SAMIR: I want to say “kill yourself” but I think that will alienate them too much BRAIN: and that would do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stardate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5881","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5881"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5881\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5881"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5881"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5881"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}