{"id":5804,"date":"2007-12-17T08:44:58","date_gmt":"2007-12-17T15:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/17\/5804\/"},"modified":"2007-12-17T08:44:58","modified_gmt":"2007-12-17T15:44:58","slug":"i-dream-of-alan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/?p=5804","title":{"rendered":"I Dream of Alan"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/redirect.html%3FASIN=0375423966%26tag=ghosthouse01-20%26lcode=xm2%26cID=2025%26ccmID=165953%26location=\/o\/ASIN\/0375423966%253FSubscriptionId=1N9AHEAQ2F6SVD97BE02\" title=\"Click and drag this image to the post editor\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/21vu4g34EIL.jpg\" width=\"100\" \/><\/a>I was moving a bunch of stuff into a friend&#8217;s place, maybe my mom&#8217;s&#8230; A strange-looking, very tall woman arrived at the door, dressed in black.<\/p>\n<p>My mom was expecting some computer parts she bought on back-order, and this was the person coming to install them.  The computer itself was something like an old Mac SE.  I looked at the delivery\/installation person, and it was Alan P from Casa Zimbabwe!<\/p>\n<p>Wow Alan, I say, are you dressing in drag now?  He&#8217;s wearing what looks to be those traditional black robes girls wear in Iran.  I blame the recent release of Perseopolis&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Alan looks sternly at me and says, it&#8217;s not really drag.  So I ask him what that means, and he looks at me meaningfully.  He then gives me a lecture on all the new words there are for &#8220;transgendered people&#8221; and &#8220;fractally-gendered&#8221; people, and how I should be more sensitive&#8230;  when no one is looking he shows me that his penis has been cut off.<\/p>\n<p>Then Alan mentions he had to do it himself in a ritual surrounded by his family.  He also show how his &#8220;breasts&#8221; are actually flaps of skin folded over into triangles, like little hammentaschen&#8230; fastened with safety pins, because in his new super-orthodox religion, they don&#8217;t believe in surgery or anesthetic or seemingly sutures.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was moving a bunch of stuff into a friend&#8217;s place, maybe my mom&#8217;s&#8230; A strange-looking, very tall woman arrived at the door, dressed in black. My mom was expecting some computer parts she bought on back-order, and this was the person coming to install them. The computer itself was something like an old Mac [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stardate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5804\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}