{"id":4427,"date":"2003-08-17T11:02:01","date_gmt":"2003-08-17T19:02:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/blog\/2003\/08\/17\/4427\/"},"modified":"2003-08-17T11:02:01","modified_gmt":"2003-08-17T19:02:01","slug":"a-pirates-life-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/?p=4427","title":{"rendered":"A Pirate’s Life For Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just saw Pirates of the Carribean<\/a>, the movie based on the ride. And, while there were parts that were a little stupid (Captain Sparrow insisting that he loves the theme song and wants to sing it over and over), it was for the most part like the ride made into a movie, except good. I liked it, anyway. The main characters had a high “who cares” value, but Johnny Depp<\/a> was fuckin awesome. Just rad. And Geoffrey Rush<\/a> as the villain was great too.<\/p>\n

\nI’ve heard that Disney is making more of these “movies based on the ride” things- e.g. The Haunted Mansion<\/a>– but you know what would be too awesome? A movie of It’s A Small World<\/b>. A horror movie. The trailer would go something like:<\/p>\n

\n

TITLES: It’s a world of laughter
\nVISUAL: a carload of DRUNKEN TEENAGERS drives into a small town at night.
\nTEENAGED GIRL: Wooo!<\/p>\n

\nVOICEOVER: A world of tears
\nTEENAGED GIRL: (crying and hitting boyfriend) It’s YOUR fault we’re stuck here!<\/p>\n

\n

VOICEOVER: It’s a world of hopes…
\nBOYFRIEND #2 stares around him, in awe, in an abandoned cathedral. Sunlight streams through holes in the ceiling.
\nBOYFRIEND #2: What happened to this place?<\/p>\n

\n

VOICEOVER: … and a world of fears
\nQuick POV flash of one of the girls being attacked by something 2 feet tall<\/p>\n

\n

VOICEOVER: There’s so much that we share
\nGIRL is lost in the dark somewhere
\nGIRL: Jerry?<\/p>\n

\n

VOICEOVER: That it’s time we’re aware
\nGIRL and BOYFRIEND #1 clutch their sputtering candles with bloody rag-covered hands in the dark- a flash of lightning outside illuminates thousands of round-headed grinning dolls sloooooowly closing in on them.<\/p>\n

\n

VOICEOVER: it’s a small,
\nJump cut of someone’s paniced eyes<\/p>\n

\nVOICEOVER: small,
\nJump cut of about to get axed in the back<\/p>\n

\nVOICEOVER: world.
\nCamera rotates around REMAINING TEENAGERS as they frantically look around them- they are in a giant hall filled with laughing singing dolls- it is HELL.
\nGIRL: No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
\nDOLLS: Heehee hee hee!<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just saw Pirates of the Carribean, the movie based on the ride. And, while there were parts that were a little stupid (Captain Sparrow insisting that he loves the theme song and wants to sing it over and over), it was for the most part like the ride made into a movie, except good. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-looky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4427"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4427\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikillspies.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}